You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.
But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.
I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.
I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.
So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.
One of the most ridiculous concepts that society promotes is that we should always consider “the other side”, that we should always compromise, that the truth is always “in the middle. The problem with this is that it ignores how many stances and opinions are completely not compatible with each other.
Feminism, anti-racism, and other similar issues are not a friendly debate. They are a struggle that’s life and death for millions (or, realistically, billions) of people. They are struggles whose only eventual outcome is the eradication of what they fight against (patriarchy, white supremacy, etc). There is no compromise, there is no “truth in the middle”, and there’s certainly no “agree to disagree” about it. Either patriarchy is abolished completely or it isn’t at all; either white supremacy becomes a ridiculous relic of the past as it should be or people of color continue to suffer or be murdered in its name.
These movements can’t “consider the other side” because the other side is actively trying to eradicate them and dehumanize their participants. To agree to be dehumanized under new conditions is not acceptable. MRAs and “equalists” often wonder why feminists won’t debate them, but it’s because they don’t understand that they’re the enemy, not a like-minded person with a different approach.
My humanity is not up for debate.
this, so much.
“well we couldve been friends if u werent such a fuckin misogynist”
Dude these two eagles were fighting mid-air and got stuck. They crash landed at an airport and both survived.
How hardcore is that? Look at their faces tho.
haha their faces
If there’s a better reason to vote for Independence than this right here - I don’t know what it is
“Promise” // Adventures // Clear My Head With You // No Sleep Records